Quotations about Donuts

Fresh popcorn is near impossible to resist, second only to fresh doughnuts. ~Shannon Wiersbitzky, What Flowers Remember, 2014

Relationship status:  Just made extended eye contact with a doughnut  ~Keith Wynn, @ravenrhapsodies, tweet, 2017  ["So your eyes glazed over?" ~Alan Rhodes, @Protogenes1  —tg]

I'm doing my part to stay healthy by eating more hole foods. ~Internet meme, c. 2016

The Zen philosopher Basho once wrote, "A flute with no holes is not a flute. A donut with no hole is a Danish." ~Caddyshack, 1980, written by Brian Doyle-Murray, Harold Ramis, & Douglas Kenney  [Ty Webb —tg]

Donut worry, be happy!  ~Internet meme, c. 2017

Friends are sprinkles on the donut of life. ~Internet meme

I'll wish for my tree to grow doughnuts and crullers! ~Dr. Seuss, "The Bippolo Seed," 1951, in The Bippolo Seed and Other Lost Stories, 2011  [A donut tree — oh, if that hasn't been a longtime dream of mine! —tg]

Anyhow, the hole in the doughnut is at least digestible. ~H. L. Mencken, 1914

“’Twixt optimist and pessimist
The difference is droll—
The optimist sees the doughnut,
The pessimist sees the hole!”
’Twixt optimist and pessimist
You’re wrong, upon my soul—
The pessimist eats the doughnut,
The optimist eats the hole.
~Wilbur D. Nesbit, "The Difference," 1908

Sure, beauty has the power to excite men. But so does a box of donuts. ~Susan Jane Gilman, 1998

I'm into fitness — fitness donut into my mouth. ~Internet meme

I’d go to yoga,
But they don’t serve donuts there.
Namaste right here.
~Kate Miller-Wilson, "Yoga Haiku," 20 Funny Haiku Poems, YourDictionary.com, 2020

Saying yes to the skinny jeans by saying no to the donuts. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon, @wildthyme, tweet, 2009, betsygarmon.com

Relationship status:  just had a third helping of doughnuts  ~Keith Wynn, @ravenrhapsodies, tweet, 2017

The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis… ~Beatrice and Ira Freeman, 1960

A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed. ~George Rosenbaum, as quoted by Molly O'Neill, "Bagels Are Now Fast Food, And Purists Do a Slow Boil," in The New York Times, 1993

The breakfast slimes, angel food cake, doughnuts and coffee, white bread and gravy cannot build an enduring nation. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)

Out of the frying-pan into the face — Mothers' doughnuts. ~Charles Wayland Towne, The Foolish Dictionary, Executed by Gideon Wurdz, Master of Pholly, Doctor of Loquacious Lunacy, etc., 1904

About 95% of my time is spent contemplating the universe, making art, and trying to be a better friend, lover, woman, etc. The other 5% of the time, I'm just like… "I would really love a donut right now." ~Cleo Wade, @cleowade, Instagram post, 2019

Churros are originally from Spain, but since I've given credit to Wisconsin for the German bratwurst in this book, I should probably blame Mexico for the churro. If you don't know what a churro is, just try to picture a ribbed doughnut stick… It's like the pipe cleaner of pastry. ~Jim Gaffigan, "Mexican Foodland," Food: A Love Story, 2014

Mmm, looks like a Slim Jim, tastes like a donut. ~My Name Is Earl, "South of the Border: Part Uno," 2006, written by Michael Pennie  [S2, E10, Earl, about a churro]