All people with healthy physical appetites have a sweet tooth somewhere in their heads. ~Macmillan’s Magazine, 1887
I want to have a good body, but not as much as I want dessert. ~Jason Love
My celebrity crush is Betty Crocker. ~Keith Wynn, @ravenrhapsodies, tweet, 2017
Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not! ~Author unknown
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. ~Jim Davis
Yes, triumphant we still believe what once militant we maintained — that the only way to eat cake is when it is just out of the oven, that the only way to eat ice cream is to dip it out of the freezer, down under the apple tree, in the mid-morning or mid-afternoon. Afterward, when it appears in sober decorum, surrounded by all the appurtenances of civilization, it is a very commonplace affair; out under the apple tree it is ambrosia.
Why not go further? Why not take all our desserts in life when they taste best, instead of at the proper time? If we postpone our pie, it is often snatched from us and we never get it at all. So let us take our pleasures without apology. ~Elisabeth Woodbridge, “On Taking One’s Dessert First,” The Jonathan Papers, 1912 [a little altered —tg]
Finally caved and did that ancestry thing, and it turns out I’m 72% pastry. ~Keith Wynn, @ravenrhapsodies, tweet, 2020
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart. ~Erma Bombeck, unverified
Desserts are the fairy tales of dining — a happily-ever-after to supper. ~Terri Guillemets
Mousse: How pudding describes itself on its résumé! ~Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, @LastWeekTonight, tweet, 2015
Whipped cream isn’t whipped cream at all unless it’s been whipped with whips. Just as a poached egg isn’t a poached egg unless it’s been stolen from the woods in the dead of night! ~Roald Dahl, “Down the Chocolate River,” Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, 1964
You are my favorite excuse to whip cream. [email protected], tweet, 2010
Once in a young lifetime one should be allowed to have as much sweetness as one can possibly want and hold. ~Judith Olney, unverified
As a librarian, I find that one of youth’s most popular bookmarks is a popsicle stick, but this is usually licked dry and sanitary first. I am inclined to believe, however, that this is not invariably done from motives of cleanliness. ~Gerald Raftery, “Ambrosia — with Mayonnaise Yet!,” in The New York Herald Tribune, 1961
It’s impossible to be gloomy when you’re sitting behind a marshmallow. ~Charles M. Schulz, Peanuts, 1969 [Lucy, roasting marshmallows with Snoopy —tg]
Oh! dear to memory are those hours
When every pathway led to flowers;
When sticks of peppermint possessed
A sceptre’s power o’er the breast,
And heaven was round us while we fed
On rich ambrosial gingerbread.
Spearmint and peppermint never lose their charm for the palate that still remembers the delights of youth. ~Henry Van Dyke, Fisherman’s Luck, 1899
Here is a shop to which the recollections of my boyhood, as well as present partialities, give a peculiar magic. How delightful to let the fancy revel on the dainties of a confectioner; those pies, with such white and flaky paste, their contents being a mystery, whether rich mince, with whole plums intermixed, or piquant apple, delicately rose-flavoured; these cakes, heart-shaped or round, piled in a lofty pyramid; those sweet little circlets, sweetly named kisses; those dark majestic masses, fit to be bridal loaves at the wedding of an heiress, mountains in size, their summits deeply snow-covered with sugar! Then the mighty treasures of sugar-plums, white, and crimson, and yellow, in large glass vases; and candy of all varieties; and those little cockles, or whatever they are called, much prized by children for their sweetness, and more for the mottoes which they inclose, by love-sick maids and bachelors! Oh! my mouth waters… ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, “Little Annie’s Ramble,” Twice-Told Tales, 1837
PEACHES AND CREAM will convert any man on the face of the earth… ~Josh Billings, revised by H. Montague
Méringue covers a multitude of sins. ~Joe Perkins, 1886
Is it wrong to find life’s meaning in a cinnamon roll? ~Keith Wynn, @ravenrhapsodies, tweet, 2017
We will have two kinds of dessert. Hugs and kisses from mamma, and hugs and kisses from papa… ~Jay Benson Hamilton, “How Santa Claus Made One Dollar Hold Out,” 1891
Once when I was in Cookie Land
A-many miles away,
I went to take a sailing trip
Upon the Ice-Cream Bay.
The boat it was an apple pie,
With ginger-snaps for sails;
But oh! A currant storm arose,
And cream-puffs grew to gales!
The sea ran high in jelly rolls,
The breakers dashed whipped cream
Upon the stern, rocky-candy coast,
I thought I’d have to scream!
The candy mast fell with a whack,
The pie-crust cracked in two,
The sauce-y waves came rushing in,
I thought,—”What shall I do?”
I found a life preserver then,
A doughnut fat and round,
And stuck my head right through the hole,—
I knew I’d not be drowned.
So then I swam, and swam, and swam,
Out in the Custard Sea;
Until a floating island came,
Convenient as could be.
And there upon that dessert isle
I lived six years or more,
Until I’d eaten all the place,
And thought I’d go ashore.
So first I ate the Custard Sea,
And next the Ice-Cream Bay;
Then on the sugar sand I crossed,—
It was the nicest way.
~Abbie Farwell Brown, “An Adventure,” A Pocketful of Posies, 1902
I know a wonderful land, I said,
Where the skies are always blue,
Where on chocolate drops are the children fed,
And cocoanut cookies, too…
This land is reached by a wonderful ship
That sails on a golden tide;
But never a grown-up makes the trip—
It is only a children’s ride…
Oh, you board the ship when the sun goes down,
And over a gentle sea
You slip away from the noisy town
To the land of the chocolate tree.
And there, till the sun comes over the hill,
You frolic and romp and play,
And of candy and cake you eat your fill,
With no one to tell you “Nay!”…
~Edgar A. Guest, “The Lure That Failed,” Just Folks, 1917
Who put the flame in the crème brûlée, brûlée
Who put the jam in the rama lama ding dong?
~Terri Guillemets, “A little after-wine ditty,” 2014 [Props on this mad silliness to George Jones Jr, Goffin & Mann. –tg]
A dessert without cheese is like a beautiful woman with only one eye. ~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, The Physiology of Taste; or, Transcendental Gastronomy, 1825